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For the best answers, search on this site https://shorturl.im/axbwh Hi Angie, I am going to warn some of the things I post may upset you, seem critical, or not friendly. However it is my writing style and the way I explain things, so apologies in advance if I upset you. There is a part of your posting that I can relate to and understand from your husband s perspective. In your posting you mention that you live in a small town but you do not mention if your husband grew up in the town? Since your posting is not clear if your husband grew up in that town and based on how you wrote you posting my assumption is that he is not. After your reading your posting it left me wondering if he did not grow up in a larger town. For a part of my life I lived in a smaller than what I am accustomed. The town had their own way of doing things, their own way of relating to people, and their own views on life in general. At least for me, I never accepted their ways. For me, I saw the town s behavior as rude, offensive, and quite disingenuous. It did not matter to me who told me that is the way the town is, I never accepted it and today this day I do not incorporate that experience as a part of my identity. After reading your posting what I am left to question is if a part of your disagreement results from different experiences and no offense intended, maybe a failure on your part to understand where his perspective originates? Now, I know you are probably thinking he should also understand my feelings on this? I agree with you but if your husband has not has not incorporated living in the small town as a part of his experience then understanding, how it is seen as just conversation is foreign to him. In my honest opinion I do not believe you will be able to get him to see your perspective and it will be a source of disagreement. How do you get around it? One way is to move away from the town and maybe live somewhere that is more comfortable for him. However that raises the question, what about your needs? My feeling should this become a solution and you are reluctant to move then some form of negotiating needs to occur between the two of you. Another option would be trying to manage, the conversations, so that they are not upsetting to him. it may mean ending the conversation sooner than expected or saying, "this is not the time to talk about it." Having lived in a small town I know that sometimes being assertive can be seen as either being aggressive or disrespectful. The challenge for you will be, if you see this as a possible solution, is trying to make so that it works. Third option is considering distancing yourself from previous boyfriends in the town. I can perfectly understand the courtesy thing but you are married now. If it is upsetting your husband maybe you need to consider giving priority to his feelings over a former boyfriend s feelings? Finally at some point something is going to have to give in order to make this relationship work. Based on your posting it reads as though your husband, right now, is not willing and so it is going to take some compromise. I know letting go of the past and maybe distancing yourself from some people is not ideal. However until one of you is willing to make a change in order to encourage the other to make a change then the conflict, I believe, will continue.